It’s nearly time to write again. By Thursday this week, I will run out of my officially sanctioned excuse, “I don’t have time to write because I’m too busy with my grad coursework.” The big question is what happens when I get two months of free evenings. Whenever I stop writing for a period of […]
Category: identity
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The Death of Procrastination
I have finally killed procrastination for good. Allow me to qualify this statement by adding some specificity. I have finally mastered a student’s enemy: schoolwork-related procrastination. I’m still quite the procrastinator when it comes to several other important life arenas (cleaning, you know who you are and i curse you), but I feel that as […]
It’s been an action packed week. It feels like I should have learned something. I don’t think I learned anything new, but I did reconnect with ye olde life lessons (nothing earth shattering but always humbling in constructive ways.) Monday: The endless battle. Nothing is good enough for my writing group. This is probably a […]
A few years ago during a doctor’s visit a nurse said in passing that you didn’t want to carry a lot of weight into old age, as it would literally weigh you down. I am reminded of that discussion every time I see someone struggle to make it up the subway stairs back to street […]
My lack of time generally, and my surging ambition specifically, make me feel like I’m in a kiln, being slowly baked by my desire for further publications. The terrible truth–now that I have an inkling that I might occasionally produce publishable work, is that I’m desperate to hit that quality level more consistently: I want […]
Sometimes I look in the mirror of craft and this is what I see: Too many notions, concepts and fancies oozing out of my brain and too few finished stories. There’s good reason that I started my writing career as a poet–I’m full of atmospheric images, but I’m not so good on the plot thing. […]
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Rejection Calluses
I’ve gotten dozens of rejections from literary journals aver the last two months. Here’s what’s fun about wholesale volume ixnays having to do with my attempts at artistry: I’m getting more gleeful with each new “thank you, no.” Each rejection indicates at least one person tried to read my work. Each rejection is just another […]
I’m flying out, friends, soon. My mind is already traveling while my body dutifully reports for my shift at work. My mind’s teeth are slowly biting into the most intensely chocolate frosting of all the frostings found on top of chocolate éclairs in Paris, while my tongue feels the pliant flesh of the puff pastry […]
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Publish and Prison
I’ve had both excellent news and one devastating experience this week. Maybe this is the shape life is supposed to take: part dream, part nightmare. Anyway, the good news is easy, I heard another piece of mine will be published–three times published makes me feel legitimate. Three times sounds like a streak, like it wasn’t […]
I was sitting in a lecture last Thursday with the Dean of Penn’s School of Public Policy and Practice, and he was telling us about the US’s dismal record when it comes to child mortality due to abuse. The number of children dying from neglect and abuse has remained constant since the 1970s, despite the […]
I have always disdained those who love their appearance too much, those who cultivate a beautiful body, which they use as a bargaining tool. My revulsion with the beauty cult started in seventh grade when a cluster of my female acquaintances, with perfectly nice 13-year-old bodies, shared that they were dieting as I surveyed their […]
So, I’m dating a lovely person who happens to be far more daring with his body than I am. (I tease that he is an adrenaline junky.) He would deny this. But he would be wrong. Specifically, the ways he likes to use his body are: snowboarding (on black diamond slopes); rock climbing; and whitewater […]
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Blank Envelope
Some beautiful messaging from the universe happened tonight. I came home to find one of my SASE envelopes, dutifully addressed to and from me, with a Love (forever) stamp on the face, empty. The envelope, carefully addressed, posted and returned to my attention was empty. The seal had broken, so the contained missive had slipped […]
So here’s the fundamental problem, I’m loving my graduate studies, I think they are enriching me intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. I’m becoming a more critical thinker, a better writer, a kinder citizen of the world–ok, none of these are the problem–BUT (heavy and bookish but) I feel like I’m definitely getting reprogrammed, and I’m being […]
I’m here to stand up for the select pleasures of the lonely. The full bed to stretch across, the remorseless expression of one’s body, the savage gnawing on absurd treats at absurd times, the sole mastery of the electronic cornucopia. I’m also here to cheer for the kind of solitude that will eventually be broken […]
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Philadelphia versus New York
As the time came to board the bus back to Philadelphia on Sunday night, after three really good days in New York City, I started feeling the usual: relief plus validation. Relief because I’m always happy to come home. I’m a little bit smug in the knowledge that I picked the right city to live […]
There are many things I love. I won’t enumerate them as we would all be exhausted by the mere process. Though I do advise the occasional stock taking of that which you love. I digress, I just wanted to post, that in the many ways in which I am a spoiled creature, a creature of […]
I lived in New York City, Manhattan–so I’d get those spiffy envelopes that said it: New York New York, for five years right after college. I moved to Philly more than a decade ago, but when it came time for my 30th birthday, I had my party in New York City. This was an act […]
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The Inevitable
Why is aging so surprising? After all, it happens continuously. It’s happening right now. I know that. I guess the surprise lies in being reminded forcefully that I’m not the spring chicken I once was. Facing up to the fact that I’m a pile of poorly tended bones in a state of constant degradation causes […]
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Journeys
This weekend I went to a friend’s baby shower in NYC. As friends and parents dispensed advice on the parents to be, my favorite analogy was how traveling and parenting resemble each other: How you have to adventurous, brave and flexible and face sudden setbacks while you travel and after you procreate. (This is true […]